If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be to loosen up and not be afraid to be myself — in interviews, in social situations, and in business meetings.

I encourage this with the job seekers and entrepreneurs I help, as well. I’m amazed by some of the stories that shake out during our conversations. I’ve worked with hundreds of clients, and one thing’s consistent: there’s always something sparkly and genuine and unique that bubbles up from their background. Yes…always. From there, it’s just a matter of them confidently flying that flag.

Be yourself in a way that inspires others.

To be clear, there are some character traits you should not feel free to express at work. Being yourself doesn’t mean that if you’re a slob at home, you should bring that quality to the office. Nor should you overshare details that will make others uncomfortable. But exposing a little vulnerability is essential to human relationships.

There are plenty of examples of celebrities allowing their humanity to shine — to the benefit of themselves and society.

Glenn Close put herself out there by talking about her family’s real struggles with mental illness. This was a risk, but it was also a catalyst for her foundation, “Bring Change to Mind,” which has already helped countless other families. The usually private and formal Alex Trebek is heroically sharing the painful details and updates of his experience with cancer and showing a level of emotion that has captured the hearts of his fans and others. More importantly, he’s sparking more awareness and education about pancreatic cancer.

Obviously, the extent to which you share doesn’t need to be at the level of a Hollywood star. And hopefully, you won’t need to suffer too much to have a story that resonates. But you’d be surprised at the deeper connections you’ll make by just being more honest with those around you. C-level executives can show more humanity if they want to relate more to their teams. Sure, smarts and a thick skin are needed for running a business. But the leaders who leave the most lasting impressions are those who give access to their real selves, rather than those who hide behind the company message or just spout data about market penetration.

I’m blessed to be in an industry where it’s expected to be genuine, since others are trusting us with their own truths. Two colleagues in my orbit who come to mind are Tanya Smith and Marie Zimenoff. One of the reasons I consider them to be standouts in their fields is their willingness to share the fact that they’re actually introverts (who knew?) — even though the very nature of their profession demands that they be highly visible and well connected. Sharing this information has endeared them to their followers, many of whom are overcoming their own anxieties about putting themselves in the spotlight.

Closer to home, the main reason I find my church so appealing is that the ministers always kick off their sermons with a story about some foible or misstep of their own. They show me that they’re my people by giving me something to relate to (and laugh at with them).

If you want to show that you’re authentic, don’t say you’re authentic.

So here’s the rub: conveying your humanity in your bios (or in person) without spelling it out. Just saying that you’re authentic or human or relatable doesn’t really tell the reader anything. It’s like saying you’re results-driven without providing the numbers to back it up.

Rather, demonstrate that you’re genuine by revealing something about yourself that others can relate to. Again, this doesn’t mean you need to overshare. But do tell people more than “When I’m not working, I can be found spending time with my children.” Hopefully, that’s a given.

I recently worked with an executive who spends hundreds of hours with the child fostering community, partly because his own childhood was tough. Although I already thought his achievements were impressive, when I learned that bit of information, my heart grew.

When I help clients with their LinkedIn profiles, I go right to the “Recommendations” section to see what others have said about them. The best endorsements are those written by direct reports or other junior employees who share stories of their leaders’ willingness to build empathetic relationships with their team. Those examples tell me a lot about how authentic the leaders are without them ever using the word.

Who do you admire for being real?

Copyright 2020 Emily Wong. Originally published on WordsofDistinction.net